The Quest for the Holy Hair Gel and More Tea
by Eryniell
Summary: Our favorite bishounen trek into the unknown... otherwise known as the basement! (This is kind of a continuation of "The Mystery of Trowa's Hair")


Hi

Hi! This is kind of a sequel to "The Mystery of Trowa's Hair". I don't own Gundam Wing or Aspirin. I do own Duo's chocolate, the books that fell on Quatre, Trowa's hairbrush, and Mr. Lion's name, even though the lion himself is officially part of Gundam Wing. Also, I do own Duo's Deathscythe pillow and scythe blanket, because I don't think they even make those. By the way, if anyone is confused about Duo's Aspirin accident, read "The Mystery of Trowa's Hair", and you'll understand it.

The Quest for the Holy Hair Gel and More Tea

~ In the large house that the Gundam pilots have just recently moved into ~

~ Living Room ~

(All the guys are sitting on the couches. Wufei is absentmindedly cutting the arm of the couch with his katana. Duo, who had been unconscious for a whole week because of an incident concerning a bottle of Aspirin and some chocolate, is eating chocolate again. He is still kind of weak, and the overdose of Aspirin had a few strange side effects, like random coughing and fear of going anywhere without his Deathscythe pillow. Quatre is drinking tea and reading a newspaper. Heero is bored, he is unloading and reloading his gun while watching Relena make a speech on TV. Trowa is brushing his bangs, because he just got out of the shower [again].)

Trowa: (brushes his hair in front of his face, and it falls down flat.) Gyaah… this isn't working. I'm going to the basement to get some more hair gel.

Duo: *coughs* Hey, Trowa!

Trowa: What?

Duo: Didn't you know, the basement's haunted.

Trowa: Honto ni?!

Duo: Yeah. Every time I go down there creepy stuff happens.

Trowa: *gulp* Eeep…

Quatre: I'll go down there with you, Trowa. I need to get more tea bags out of the basement anyway. Besides, I don't believe in ghosts. (Quatre walks over and opens the door to the basement. He looks down and sees the dark, creepy, cobwebby basement.) Hmm… it does seem kind of frightening.

Wufei: *exasperated* Oh, you're all so weak. I'll come down with you and protect you girls. (looks at the dark staircase and tries to pretend that he's not scared, when he's really terrified of dark places.) Heero, bring your gun.

Heero: Fine… (Heero picks up his gun and follows after them.)

(Duo is still sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with little scythes all over it and clutching his Deathscythe pillow. The others go down the stairs, leaving Duo alone in the living room. Duo gets scared and runs down the stairs after them, still carrying his pillow, because he doesn't want to be alone.)

Duo: Eeep! Wait for me!

~ In the basement ~

(It's still pitch black, leaving the gundam pilots lost at the bottom of the stairs.)

Heero: Itai! Mmph… get off of me!

Duo: Who has their foot in my face?

Quatre: Aaah! Trowa, your hair just stabbed me!

Trowa: How could it do that? I don't have my hair gel yet, so it's not even pointy!

Heero: I _told_ you, GET OFF OF ME! You're sitting on my head, whoever you are!

Wufei: Eeep! Watch out for flying braids!

Duo: Sorry! …*cough, cough* …Hey, where's the lightswitch?

(Someone finds the switch and turns it on. A single dim, flickering lightbulb turns on at the foot of the stairs. Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Duo turn to see Wufei curled up into a ball on the floor, shaking because he's so scared of the dark.

Heero: Well, at least now we can all see. Trowa, you go find the hair gel. Quatre, go find your tea. Wufei, maybe you should go upstairs.

Wufei: No way! Do you expect me to go all the way up that dark staircase by myself?! …I mean, I think it would be better if I stay down here and protect you guys. After all, Duo's still recovering from his Aspirin incident. We wouldn't want him to get hurt or anything, right?

Heero: Uh…. right. So, Trowa and Quatre, go find your stuff. Wufei, you keep an eye on Duo, and I'll stand here and guard the stairs.

(Trowa and Quatre set off in search of their stuff while Duo and Wufei wander around aimlessly. Heero starts to pace back and forth in front of the stairs.)

~ Meanwhile, inside the circus tent in the backyard ~

(Trowa's lion paces around in its cage, wondering where it's lunch is. Suddenly, it sprouts razor-sharp teeth and chews through the bars of the cage.)

Mr. Lion: Grrrr…

(It stalks off in search of food.)

~ Back in the basement ~

(Quatre is wandering around blindly in the dark, looking for his tea. He runs into a bookcase, and 468,375 books fall down on him.)

Quatre: Aaaaah!!!!!!

Duo: (from far away) Was that you, Quatre? *cough, cough* Are you okay?

Quatre: No, I am NOT okay. I am buried under about 4,000 books and I'm going through withdrawal because I don't have my tea!

Duo: Oh… want some chocolate?

Quatre: NO!!! HOW WOULD I EVEN BE ABLE TO GET CHOCOLATE IF I'M BURIED UNDER 4,000 BOOKS?!?!

Trowa: 468,375 books to be exact…

Quatre: I DON'T CARE!! (He crawls out from underneath the books, blinks a few times, and is normal again.) Oh, I'm sorry everyone. I don't know what happened to me. I think it's because of tea deprivation.

Heero: (from the bottom of the stairs) Right… now hurry up and find your tea and hair gel and whatever other crap you need because I want to go back upstairs!

Quatre: Oh, right. Of course. (He keeps walking through the basement.)

~ At the bottom of the stairs ~

(Heero is still pacing around near the stairs, but each circle he makes keeps getting farther away from the stairs. Finally, he walks so far in one direction that he walks into the laundry room. The door closes behind him and Heero is left in total darkness. He turns around to pace back the other way, and runs into the door.)

Heero: *SMACK!* ITAI! That hurt! Who did that – oh, it's just the door. Well, I'm going to go find Dr. J and tell him that following the four of them down to the "scary" basement is a stupid mission. (Heero walks a couple of steps farther and suddenly poofs! through a magic door that will not quite instantly transport him to somewhere else in the basement.)

~ Over in some other random corner of the basement ~

Trowa: Hair gel, hair gel… where are you, hair gel? I need your help. (somehow knows where he's going in the darkness, steps over a few boxes.) Help me, Hairgel-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope…

~ Back outside ~ 

(Mr. Lion is walking around the backyard. The basement window is open, and he smells people in there, so he crouches down and crawls through the basement window.)

Mr. Lion: Grrrr…

~ In Trowa's corner of the basement ~

(Trowa is digging through some boxes, trying to find a bottle that feels like a hair gel bottle, since he can't see anything. He hears a rustling sound close to him and a growl. Trowa stands up, rigid with fear, thinking it's those ghosts Duo told him about.)

Trowa: Who's there?

(Growling continues. Suddenly, Trowa feels a bottle of hair gel on a shelf! He quickly opens it and smears gel all over his hair. His hair magically pops into its normal position, and Trowa stands poised to fight off any enemy with his deadly hair.)

Mr. Lion: GRRRRRR -- *sniff, sniff* (Mr. Lion purrs and rubs against Trowa's leg.)

Trowa: Oh, it's just you, Mr. Lion. Well, right now I need to find the rest of my hair gel. (pets Mr. Lion and continues digging around through all the stuff in the basement.)

~ Off in some other corner of the basement ~

Duo: So, Wufei? Are you still scared of the dark?

Wufei: Shut up, Maxwell. (pulls out his katana and threatens Duo with it)

Duo: Eeep! *cough, cough* Okay, okay! Never mind! But… do you have any idea where we are?

Wufei: No… do you?

Duo: (shakes his head)

Wufei: (He didn't see Duo shake his head no) Well… do you?

Duo: I already said no.

Wufei: No, you didn't.

Duo: Yes, I did.

Wufei: No, you didn't. You didn't actually say no.

Duo: Yes, I did! *cough* I totally did! You just didn't hear me.

Wufei: That's because you didn't _say_ anything! Argh!

Duo: Yes… I… DID!!!!

Wufei: No, you d— never mind. I'm not doing this anymore. I should just leave you here.

Duo: (folds his arms across his chest) Fine. Go ahead. Deathscythe will keep me company. I don't need _you_ around.

Wufei: Hmph! (He stalks off in another direction, hesitates, gets scared again, and runs back to Duo. He pulls out his katana and puts it to Duo's throat.) Don't you **_ever_ **tell anyone I'm afraid of the dark, you hear me?

Duo: Yes, yes! I get the picture!

Wufei: Good. (puts his katana away and starts walking again. Duo follows behind him with Deathscythe.)

~ Back in Quatre's corner of the basement ~

(Quatre is walking through the basement and as he takes a step, he feels something soft and squishy beneath his feet. He bends down and feels it, and realizes it's one of his tea bags. He starts sobbing and hugging the tea bag.)

Quatre: FATHER!!!! I mean, uh… TEA BAG!!!!!! (sobs for another half a second, creating a flood in the basement. Then he stops and stands up. He feels his way around and finds a box on a shelf. He reaches into the box and finds all 35,925,689 of his other tea bags, completely dry and intact.) YES!!!!!! THANK YOU, SANDR— I mean, THANK YOU, GOD!!!! (All 40 of the Maganacs suddenly appear, startling Quatre.) AAAH!!!! Where'd you guys come from?

Rashid: Don't thank God. Thank us, Master Quatre! We put all of those tea bags on the shelf just for you.

Quatre: Oh, thank you, Rashid. *mutters under his breath* Why didn't you replace all the lightbulbs, too, you big jerk?

Rashid: What, Master Quatre?

Quatre: Oh, um, nothing, Rashid.

Rashid: Master Quatre, you know, if you're insulting us, your father will be very mad at you.

Quatre: How can my father be mad at me?! He's dead, okay, Radish… uh, I mean, okay, Rashid? (Quatre snickers under his breath.)

Rashid: All right, Master Quatre. If you don't mind, Master Quatre, we are going upstairs to have something to drink. Goodbye.

Quatre: Okay, goodbye, Rashid. Bye, guys.

All 40 Maganacs: Goodbye, Master Quatre! (They all disappear upstairs.)

(Quatre realizes that he just had the chance to go upstairs and he missed it.)

Quatre: No, wait! Guys! Come back! (He realizes they're not going to respond.) Oh well. I'll find my own way back upstairs.

~ Back where Heero is ~

(Heero has been not quite instantly poof!ed to another area of the basement.

Heero: (to himself) Well, I never did find Dr. J… (His eyes widen as a flood of Quatre tears flows toward him and carries him away.) Aaaah!!

~ Trowa's corner of the basement ~

(Quatre's tears are already 1 ½ feet deep where Trowa is standing, and Mr. Lion is growling impatiently because he doesn't like being wet.)

Trowa: *sigh* (He picks up Mr. Lion and puts him across his back.) Fine, I'll carry you, Mr. Lion. (He sees Quatre's tears for the first time [even though it's still pitch black. Funny, huh? ^^;]) Huh? What's this? Those sparkles… they're Quatre's tears. (He picks up the large box of hair gel that he found and starts carrying it and Mr. Lion in what he hopes is the right direction.)

~ Back at the foot of the stairs ~

(Heero is seated on the bottom step, soaking wet and cold. Again, he's unloading and reloading his gun, waiting for everyone to come back.)

Heero: Omae o korosu, Wufei. Making me follow them down here for no reason… grr…

(A few minutes later, Quatre wades through the tear flood and joins Heero on the stairs. He proudly holds out his box of 35,925,689 tea bags.)

Heero: (looks into the box) Hn.

Quatre: That's _all_ you're going to say?! After I worked so hard to find them?! Hmph, some friend you are.

Heero: ………

(Suddenly, screaming and coughing is heard from down the hallway.)

Duo: Aaaah! *cough, cough* My braid! Please! No, Wufei! Please don't do it!

Wufei: (runs after Duo, holding his katana and laughing maniacally.) You told my secret! Now you will pay the price!

Duo: Nooooooooooo!!!!! Please! I'll give you anything! Anything but my precious braid! (He clutches his braid protectively in one hand.)

Wufei: (considers the offer, then gets a very evil look on his face, which looks VERY VERY evil in the dim light. He holds out his hand.) Deathscythe. Now.

Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (holds onto Deathscythe pillow as tight as humanly possible) You can't have him… *tears appear in Duo's eyes* He's my best friend… I'll never hand over my Deathscythe. Go ahead. Take the braid. (Duo shuts his eyes tight, waiting for the inevitable slash of the katana.)

Wufei: (He's about to slash the braid off and claim his long-awaited prize, but he suddenly feels the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against his neck.)

Heero: Take the braid or the Deathscythe… or the chocolate, and I pull the trigger. 

Wufei: (backs off and sheaths his katana in his belt again) Injustice… grrr… Heero, you baka…

Heero: (in a warning tone) Omae o korosu, Wufei… touch Duo and I'll kill you.

Quatre: (He has been patiently waiting for this whole thing to end so that they can go upstairs again.) Huh…? (He can just barely hear Trowa coming toward them.) I can hear you, Trowa. Don't come any closer, Trowa. (Trowa takes a step forward because he didn't hear Quatre.) …What did I just say? DON'T GET ANY CLOSER TO ME!!!

Trowa: Why?

Quatre: Oh, um… I dunno. Never mind. You can come over here now.

Trowa: Good. (Trowa stumbles over and puts Mr. Lion on the stairs so he doesn't get wet. Then he sets down the box of hair gel.) So… is everybody back?

All: Yup.

Trowa: Then let's go upstairs.

Duo: *cough, cough* Good idea, Trowa. 

(As they are heading upstairs, Quatre turns to Wufei.)

Quatre: So, Wufei, what was that secret Duo wasn't allowed to tell?

Wufei: …Nothing.

Duo: It wasn't nothing! It was—

Wufei: Duo! Don't tell them I'm afraid of the dark! (Realizes his mistake and looks at the other three guys, whose mouths are hanging open and staring at him.) …oops… 

(All of the gundam pilots except Wufei burst out laughing.)

Wufei: Aww, dammit… now they know. Thanks a lot, Maxwell.

Duo: Sure, no problem. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough, wheeze, pant* Hmm… maybe I should stop laughing.

(The boys [and Mr. Lion] finally make it upstairs.)

Duo: THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM H-- *cough, cough* (doubles over coughing. After a couple of seconds, he stands back up again.) Grr… stupid cough, I wanna say my line. Okay. *makes a show of clearing his throat and stands on the couch, trying to look professional* Ladies and gentle— I mean… Gentlemen… THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM HELL!!!!!!! YEA!!!!! (Duo runs into the kitchen to get some more chocolate.)

(All of the others follow him and are very surprised to see all 40 Maganacs sitting at the kitchen table, drinking Wufei's supply of coffee.)

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To be continued………?

So, what did you think of this one? Was it as good as the first? Please review. Ja ne! 


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